Wolff rating: NIGHTMARE
Plot summary: I think this had something to do with a hero named Deathstalker who is trying to find the other half of a big piece of quartz, but actually there are three parts and, uh, uh, there are these peasants, see, and, well, we don't know where they come from...
Biased, pithy comments: It just doesn't make any sense. Deathstalker himself is smarmy, irritating, and self-consciously aware that he's in a film. The princess character is (though pretty) entirely free from acting talent, and the wizard couldn't be wearing a more fake beard. Then there's Batman the Evil Warrior, plus those random warriors of the dead who wander around in plastic armor and bad makeup. However, all of these elements would merely make for a forgettable Mexican-made fantasy adventure movie, but what's worse is that important plot points were edited out (or never shown; we can't tell), capped by a beautiful scene in which the peasants arrive to storm the castle. Which peasants they might be is left up to the audience, and as such we're left with a feeling of vague indifference.
Other Notes: \MST. ''There's not actually a lot of death stalking in this one, is there?'' Note the meowing eagle as well.
How many times I have seen it: x1
Starring: Rich Nelson