Wolff rating: NOT BAD
Plot summary: Some fighters get shanghaied into fighting to ``save the Universe'' from, uh, somebody.
Biased, pithy comments: Look, Ma, it's a Kung Fu movie with a budget! Shun it! Fear it! Oh, I wanted this movie to be good. I went in with an open mind, hoping to be transported from the cares of my grinding life into a world of larger-than-life heroes, a few snappy comebacks, and lots of Kung Foolishness. Well, I got the latter, but this film had actually less visible plot than the video game on which it was based. The characters (if actors with lines must be called such) wandered from place to place across expensive, lavish sets with fantastic lighting without so much as a reasonable clue as to what was going on, and as a result left their audience behind. The special effects were downright nifty, much of the cinematography was exciting, and the music was amusing, but there just wasn't a story. Heck, I would have even settled for some plot coupons that made sense, but instead, I shrugged my shoulders as folk came to some inner understanding about themselves but failed to let in the audience onto important facts like a) Who were the major characters in this film? b) What were the rules of the tournament? c) How were our heroes proceeding in it? d) Where did she get that dress in the last scene, and why? e) Why was no one the least bit concerned when a twelve foot high, four-armed monster arrived on the scene to bust some heads? However, that said, I had a good time watching it, making fun of it, and tapping my foot to the soundtrack during the billions of fight scenes.
Other Notes: Watch for a scene apparently cut in from ``Ghost''. Killer soundtrack. If you watch this film, realize that it won't even make sense. Not a whit. Hoewver, some rockin' sock'em kung fu.
How many times I have seen it: x1
Starring: Some fighters we won't see soon, Christopher Lambert (as Splinter from TMNT)
Directed by: Paul Anderson