Wolff rating: NOT BAD
Plot summary: The Japanese plan and execute a brilliant sneak attack on Hawaii before World War II. Oh, and there's Ben Affleck and that other guy and the chick.
Biased, pithy comments: During the second chapter, about 40 minutes into the movie, I was unable to breathe. This was amazing cinema, and I kept grabbing the puffy chair arm and gasping. It was amazing, both at the level of artistic accomplishment and at the gut level. Here, on film, was a masterful recreation of one of the most terrifying moments on American soil. However, that sequence was surrounded by some of the drippiest, over-baked, pointless melodrama I've ever seen. I had not read anything about the plot, but here I was checking off plot twists about 15 minutes before they occured (or, in some cases, 45 minutes before they occured). I know, I know, you can't expect much originality from a movie called ``Pearl Harbor,'' but you can certainly expect that it not be written so painfully. During Baldwin's fourth stirring speech to his men, I began intoning ``DEAD'' after every phrase in the same hammy way he had said it twice in two sentences, and it seemed to fit in nicely. Oy, veh. So, really, this is like ``Ben Hur''---spectacle with fits of brilliant wide-screen action with some long, slow bits where they try to get you to care. But, of course, I already care about Pearl Harbor.
Other Notes: Randall Wallace, the same scribe who made up history to make ``Braveheart'' more interesting, is responsible for the howler-ridden script.
How many times I have seen it: x1
Starring: Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, Kate Beckinsale, Ewen Bremner, Alec Baldwin, James King, Jon Voight (as the least-convincing FDR ever---STOP WAGGLING YOUR DAMN HEAD, JON), Cuba Gooding Jr., and Dan Ackroyd.
Directed by: Michael Bay