Wolff rating: MOSTLY HARMLESS
Plot summary: Psychopath lures youngsters on the internet and then tortures them with piercings and, well, bad 80s-style heavy metal.
Biased, pithy comments: Dee Snider, whose major claim to fame is being half of the old Twisted Sister big-hair-and-makeup-duo wrote and directed this dog, and that's as much as one really needs to say about this. Though he has a fair amount of presence on screen, he's not a talented writer and the story and characterization are painful. We see the same movie twice--it's like he couldn't fill up 90 minutes so he just shot two 45 minute films. The main character, played by Kevin Gage, is wooden, Pena (a talented actress) has moved beyond squandered and into tragically wasted, and even Robert ``Freddie Krueger'' England flubs his flaccid lines. Essentially, this movie sucks, but one gets the sense that there should have been more---Pieplow has a little flair for imagery and Snider could have been a good villain, and the film has a certain inveitable air about it---``Captain Howdy'' leaps on his victims like a spider leaps on a fly. There is better horror out there that you haven't seen; this one is more like the crap you find filling out the Cinemax late-night set. I'd even recommend ``Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers'' over this. Heck, I had fun watching HCH, and I was left cold by this outing.
Other Notes: From a social standpoint, I can see why this movie would push the buttons of the right wing/censorship crowd---it's all about sadistic torture, weird-looking counterculture, and ``depravity.'' What's funny is that even as Snider is exploiting the counterculture, he apparently is quite comfortable in it, and most of the weird get-ups and fetish clothes we see are available by mail order by reputable sex-toy companies. Calling piercing sick in the late nineties is like declaring rock and roll a vile abomination in 1960. Dude, it's what the kids are into right now, and (when done in a sterile environment, and Snider's chracter wears surgical gloves like a good boy) it's mostly harmless (except for dorky scars you'll have to explain to your kid someday when you realize you look like a moron with a few pounds of nickle hanging from your lips and septum). I know people who would probably *pay* to be locked up and tortured like the victims in this film; the only difference is that Captain Howdy decided he'd do it to people who didn't want to play. So, in other words, even though this film titillates us with scenes from the underground, its storyline acts in line with conventional morality. Harumph. A much better movie would show us why this stuff is fascinating, like ``Crash'' tried to. Speaking of Crash, in terms of disturbing sex-fetish movies, it's a hell of a lot better than this piece of drek. Oh, well.
How many times I have seen it: x1
Starring: Kevin Gage, Elizabeth ``I was in `Lone Star,' dammit!'' Pena, Brett Harrelson, Robert Englund, Linda Cardellini.
Directed by: John Pieplow